JimmyJane™ HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL $42 JimmyJane™ VELVET SPICE™ $42 Just remember, the orgasmic climax isn’t the only part of an erotic experience. “Everything begins with foreplay,” says Mendez. “Perhaps start with a non-genital area of the body. This would also be a great way to find other erogenous zones in each other.” Heighten the mood with touch before introducing a sex toy into the equation with sensual add-ons like the citrusy HYDRATE MASSAGE OIL™ or aromatic VELVET SPICE™ candle. "Massage oils are a nice way of helping each other relax and begin to play," Mendez notes. Vibrating panties SHOP VIBRATING PANTIES JimmyJane™ STARLA + CALISTA™ $135 JimmyJane™ ASCEND 3 + CARPO $135 JimmyJane™ STARLA + TYRO™ $135 “Keep introducing different parts of your erotic energy to each other,” says Mendez. “You can also discover new ways to play with each other.” If the word "new" piqued your interest, may we suggest you add vibrating panties to your list?
The JimmyJane™ VIBRATING PANTIES COLLECTION™ combines dressing up (think sheer lace) and sensation play (a silicone vibrator that’s controlled by you or your partner) in one discreet, remote-controlled package. Choose from three styles (an open-back lacy number, a standard cheeky, or a keyhole bikini), and you can pick your vibe... and, ahem, vibrator. Women over 50 often experience more trouble having an orgasm than they did when they were younger. The culprit: lower blood flow to the genitals, combined with diminished production of both testosterone and estrogen. The result: More time is required to climax — or orgasm may not occur at all. Woman holding gift behind her back, Sex toy primer (Kris Ubach and Quim Roser/cultura/Corbis) CORBIS Pepper discusses the most popular types of sex toys and explains how to use them discreetly. Women and their partners can overcome these changes by getting creative.
Vibrators and other gadgets, once viewed as appropriate for solo use only, can dynamically improve a couple's sex play, helping both partners achieve the elusive "Big O." That statement may be news to a minority of readers: A survey conducted by the authors of The Normal Bar (I'm one!) this year found that more than 50 percent of respondents over the age of 50 use sex toys individually or as a couple. The others, I suspect, aren't using them simply because they don't know which ones to try. To fill that knowledge gap (and a few others), here's my decidedly non-prim primer on sex toys: Good vibrations Various iterations of the vibrator, now available in battery-powered or plugged-in models, have been around since the late 19th century. By directly stimulating the nerves, the device helps activate those that are not responding to the usual methods of arousal. Vibrators come in various shapes and sizes — some lifelike. Many models feature adjustable speeds of vibration, a crucial feature for skin that may have become supersensitive over the years. More on Sex 6 myths about vibrators Great sex without intercourse How much do you really know about love and sex? A guy's guide to what women really want
The most famous vibrator is the rabbit, which has been selling briskly ever since Charlotte became addicted to a combination vaginal-clitoral stimulator by that name in Episode 9, Season 1 of Sex and the City in 199 (The clitoral-stimulator portion resembles a pair of bunny ears.) Other popular vibes are the pocket rocket — made for external use, it's four inches long and easy to tuck in a purse — and the G-spot stimulator, a dildo or vibrator that curves up at the end to reach the nerve-rich G-spot on the roof of the vagina. Additionally, there are buzzing and nonbuzzing dildos — penis-shaped objects that can be inserted inside a woman's vagina. Used with a lubricant, these can supplement intercourse, especially if a male partner has inconsistent erections. Put a ring on it Let's say you're a guy and you want to get into the spirit of things; would you consider a penis ring? These are becoming less exotic than they sound; they're often shelved near the condoms in a pharmacy. The ring has a gently expanding band that fits around the base of the penis; a small button activates a vibrator on the ring, positioned to massage the woman's clitoral area during intercourse. So-called "two-headed" versions of the penis ring stimulate both partners simultaneously — sending more blood flowing to the penis.
Mens Sex WearAnother toy popular with older guys is the C ring; it fits around both the penis and the scrotum, and is donned before an erection to boost the quality and duration thereof. The C ring must be removed after orgasm, lest it cut off circulation and cause serious problems. These gadgets take the pressure off performance. They may also strengthen your relationship: Research shows that trying something new often brings a couple closer together. And did I mention they are fun? The remote-control vibrator, for example, is tailor-made for couples with a sense of humor: The vibrator is sewn into panties and, when activated by remote control, sends quiet vibrations across the clitoral area. A surefire antidote for even the most deadly-dull dinner party! Shop smart Whew, that's a lot of toyful terrain to cover!
For more advice, seek online help from one of the more reputable sites, such as goodvibes.com, loverspackage.com or evesgarden.com. And at specialty stores such as Good Vibrations (San Francisco), Lovers (Phoenix, Seattle, Portland, Ore.), Fascinations (Denver) or Babeland (New York, Seattle), discreet and well-trained personnel are on hand to explain device features; their counsel may keep you from making a mistake — important, given that the better toys tend to be costly. And, as you might imagine, all are nonreturnable! If you've ever peeked inside someone's underwear drawer, chances are you've likely found a sex toy tucked away somewhere in the back corner. Nowadays, sexual well-being and taking control of your own pleasure is at an all-time high, and for good reason. According to certified sex therapist and psychotherapist Lee Phillips, LCSW, CST, CSCT, sex toys can be a tantalizing addition to your sex life because they can add diversity, excitement, and creativity to the bedroom. "Routine sex and masturbation can get boring, so why not spice it up and try something new? Sex toys can help you achieve the orgasm you desire," he tells mbg. "Many of my female clients report this because sex toys provide extra clitoral stimulation."
Whether you're a beginner or a seasoned sex toy enthusiast, it can be tricky looking for the right gadget for your orgasm needs. Fear not: We've done the heavy lifting for you so you don't have to break a sweat (until you want to, that is). We've picked the brains of couples' therapists and sex experts to round up the best sex toys for women and vulva owners. These recommendations will get you offline and into the bedroom for the ultimate plug-and-play pleasure. Quick List: Best for beginners: Satisfyer Pro 2+ Best for couples: Dame Eva Best budget: Lovehoney BASICS Mini Vibrator Best for dual stimulation: Happy Rabbit Realistic Dual Density Rabbit Vibrator Best for discreet use: Crave Vesper Best to simulate oral sex: The Womanizer Pro40 Best for clitoral stimulation: The Magic Wand Best for queer women: Wet for Her’s Two Finger Extender
Vibrating Urethral SoundsBest for innovation: Lovense Nora How we picked: Expert guidance We asked sex therapists what to look for when searching for the best vibrators and used their expertise as a guideline for selecting these options, and we even included some of their personal recommendations. Body-safe These products are made from body-safe and nontoxic materials, they're safe to use on your body. You can try out these products knowing they're safe for your physical health and pleasure. Inclusive We chose these products from reputable and inclusive sellers who support diversity and the LGBTQ+ community with their product offerings and sexual wellness resources. Good reviews
Through gathering expert recommendations and scouring certified customer reviews, we made sure these sex toy products are highly rated by the people who actually use them. mbg's picks for the best sex toys for women to try in 2022: Best for beginners: Satisfyer Pro 2+ Satisfyer Pro 2+ VIEW ON ADAM & EVE | $67 VIEW ON ENBY | $66 VIEW ON AMAZON | $60 Pro Proprietary air-pulse technology for strong suction Con Can be loud on higher settings Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes
Sex therapist Aliyah Moore recommends the highly reviewed Satisfyer Pro 2+ to vulva owners who are new to sex toys and looking for an orgasm without penetration. "Instead of the typical vibrations that you get from most clitoral vibrators of massagers, the Satisfyer uses pressure waves to stimulate your clitoris." The intensity levels and waterproof feature lets you have multiple orgasms without having to put anything inside of yourself. The medical silicone mouth on the sex toy provides suction to the clitoris, allowing for a unique pleasure you can feel all over. Best for couples: Dame Eva Dame Eva VIEW ON DAME | $135 VIEW ON ELLA PARADIS | $135 Pro Great addition to partnered sex Con Takes experimentation for the right placement Rechargeable: Yes Waterproof: Yes "[The Eva] is an external-only clitoral stimulator that a clitoris-owner can wear during any type of sex. It's buzzy, on the lighter side, and is great for folks figuring out how to integrate clitoral stimulation during other types of play," relationship and sex therapist Rachel Wright tells mbg. The Eva's slim and compact wearable design allows it to stay in place comfortably while the three-speed motor can reliably get you to orgasm with your partner. Play with it in the bedroom or in the shower; the medical-grade silicone material and waterproof feature allows for fun wherever you want to go.
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